"Old people fun" (Francis)

So today Dahnya and I went to a wine tasting festival in downtown Houston. Dahnya found tickets to it online and we made plans with our other old married folks Roy and Heidi. Heidi unfortunately had to work so Dahnya and I were left to our own devices with extra tasting coupons!

I must say that did a very good job of concealing my initial reaction to the whole idea in favor of supporting my wife and her awesome attempt to get out and do stuff. But seeing as the event is now over I'm gonna spill it all. So first thought upon hearing the idea I thought, there will be nothing but old married folks and gaggles of single women trolling for men in a place were the odds of finding a single man are easily 10 to 1. Further more it was called a wine tasting so I assumed there would be a bunch of snobbish retailers being really stingy with their sample product and spewing allot of bullshit about grape juice that for the most part tastes the same to my very untrained taste buds (don't be fooled I do like wine, a lot).

As far as the actual event goes I scored about 1 1/2 out of three with my predictions. I was on point with the old folks, lots of them. As far as the gaggles there were tons of 40 something ladies trolling for dudes. It was frightening and wonderfully entertaining all at the same time. Watching all these ladies try and strut around on the grassy hill in heels would have been hours of entertainment for just about anyone. The scary part was being molested by their eyes. Now, I don't say this to pat my own back. I was under the impression that the bushy winter beard I have been cultivating the past few weeks would stave off even the most aggressive pursuer. That's not even mentioning my wife who was standing next to me or my big fat titanium wedding band(see previous post on wedding bands). My guess was these ladies had realized that most single men wouldn't be caught dead at an event like this so they were willing to take anything.

Some further oddities:

-There was a large number of, lets call them affluent, asian women at the event. Literally droves of them.

-Another is, nothing goes better with your top of the line Texas wine than Panda Express chinese food. I mean really...?!

-Why does any outdoor event like this have to be at least 50% craft fair? Seriously, is there a city ordinance? If you took out the Green Mountain Energy, and Panda Express booths it would have been a mini Bayou City Arts Festival with wine.

-Older white folk drunk on wine dancing to horrible soulless Bob Marley and the Whalers covers is entertainment for the whole family. One lady danced with a frog man with a cape mascot for easily 15 minutes!

-I do need to give a little shout out to the balding keyboard player who hasn't given up on his dreams or his long hair. He's from Hartford, CT what's up!

All in all though it was a great time sitting in the back with our wine and improvising our own dialogue for all kinds of absurd drunken interactions that were happening in the park. It just goes to show that if you are with the right person you can find fun in just about any situation.